Sunset Therapy

Sometimes I need a little fresh air and sunshine… So, we spend most of our days outside. Sometimes I need a little alone time to recharge and breathe and take a break from the chores, mess and chaos. I am growing into a nurturing, loving mom more and more and a better wife and homemaker and all of those awesome things that I’m privileged to be, but it doesn’t come naturally. I didn’t grow up in a ‘traditional’ or a ‘Christian’ home. I wasn’t homeschooled. I didn’t play with baby dolls or pretend kitchens. My mom worked 60+ hours a week outside of the home and my dad did a lot of freelance independent  contracting work and wasn’t home much either. My 4-years-older sister was more or less ‘mom’ and with 5 of us growing up, it was pretty chaotic.

Getting married and having children wasn’t something I desired until I was in my mid twenties and saw some pretty wonderful examples of Godly marriages. Before that, I was rather terrified of ‘settling down.’ I didn’t know what healthy relationships looked like and I certainly didn’t ever expect to have children, much less homeschool them! I didn’t even know that was a viable option.

Now, with a strong, hardworking, Christ loving husband, a true understanding of the Gospel and the freedom and deliverance that I have in Christ and 3 beautiful children looking up to me as an example and as their caretaker, I’m thankful for the grace and mercy I’ve been given and the forgiveness I’ve received and the guidance that shows me that being a stay-at-home mom is not only a good thing and an honor, it’s a holy calling. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a hard, wanna scream, how do I do this thing. It’s an ‘is this really what I’m called to do?’ Thing. But I would not trade it for anything else in the world. I love my family and love my job and I love this awesome, sometimes slow but always full life I have.

The thing is, no one told me how sanctifying wifehood and motherhood is. SANCTIFYING as in I’m the most selfish and proud woman in the world and I don’t want to serve and submit. Aren’t those ‘dirty words?’ No. They aren’t dirty words. They aren’t popular. They aren’t cool or hip or culturally acceptable, but I’ve been culturally acceptable and that was a hot, disgusting, filthy mess.

So, as I’m figuring out this whole staying at home, educating and discipling my children and respecting and submitting to my amazing husband I’ve come to love those quiet and comforting moments of solace where the demands of the day melt away with the sunset. It’s a glorious thing. Oh glorious day.